Photo Credit: Bree Lea Photography
Author’s Note: One Gray Dress is a challenge to use fashion
as a means of social justice, wearing the same gray dress for 24 days to create
awareness for human sex trafficking.
The moment I heard about One Gray Dress, I knew I was going
to participate. I wasn’t sure how this was going to happen, as I not only
didn’t have a gray dress, but was aware how out of my comfort zone and radical
this was going to be for me. I knew it was going to be a challenge from the get
go—a challenge to wear the same dress everyday, a challenge to keep my eyes on
my motives so that I wouldn’t slip into doing this as a way to “boost my
image,” a challenge to learn about the horrors of human trafficking and really
allow myself to explore these uncharted territories. Twenty-five days after, at
the conclusion of the project, I have some reflections, some thoughts. I have
grown more that I could have ever imagined during this past month, not only in
character, but also in worldview and awareness.
Here are five lessons from the
past month.
1. I don’t need stuff.
It’s really as simple as that. Growing up
in an extremely consumer driven culture has engrained it in my brain that I
need all this STUFF—the new boots, three pairs of scissors, multiple gadgets
and gizmos. And I have totally believed it. Totally believed it…until I wore
the same dress for 24 days. Suddenly I realize that shirts can be used as a
scarf, and scarves can be skirts, and my world is oddly turned upside down as I
begin to question why I have SO MANY CLOTHES. Why I have SO MUCH STUFF.
Consistently juxtaposing my life daily with those in sex slavery made me
realize how trivial all of my materialism tendencies are in the grand scheme of
everything. Why buy a new purse when I can make one out of my jeans? Then I
have an awesome purse, and an awesome story, and I get to CREATE A PURSE. HOW
AWESOME IS THAT?! What does a purse matter in the grand scheme of everything
anyway? It’s like bought happiness.
I desire to simplify instead of multiply,
focusing my energy on reducing my footprint for the common good. I’ve been
especially affected thinking about how the items I buy were at one point most
likely touched by someone in forced labor (human trafficking). How can I reduce
the problem by reducing my footprint? By buying secondhand more often and using
my creativity for viable solutions when I have problems, I truly believe that I
can reduce this footprint, and in some way, help.
2. Expanding one’s worldview cultivates gratitude.
I had days where I woke up and would go
through the day, almost in a zombie trance, unable to decipher the thoughts in
my head and overall overwhelmed with all that was being thrown at me. Even on
these days when I chose to stay in this mood, not actively seeking redemption
in it, as I was doing this project, I found that the lows became less low. I
would look down at my dress and think of the women who were being raped
repeatedly at that moment, and recognize that the fact that I was breathing and
not in a situation such as that, which was a gift. I would recognize that what
I take for granted is not experienced by all, and for that, I have a reason to
celebrate every moment, to savor every moment, if not for me, for them (as
empathy is also cultivated with thankfulness).
As I go to a play, I am struck
by the beauty of it—not only of the performers, but that I am able to be at a
play, free, watching this gift given by the performers that I get to unwrap and
enjoy moment by moment. Everyday the dress began to feel like an
externalization of my internal workings and thoughts, “Regardless of what today
brings, I am going to face it, not by myself, but with others, as I am
imperfect and fall to the darkness in this world and need help up.” This
externalized mantra really helped to solidify that changes that have been going
on inside of me for the last few months, as I had a purpose and reason (the
gray dress) to externalize thoughts of social justice, passions, and Jesus.
3. I love social justice.
Many most likely knew this about me before
I, but I’ve been chewing on this for two years now, this whole social justice
concept. It has only been recently, within the last five months, that it has
absolutely exploded, (beautifully so), and this love manifested itself in the
Project. My friend Bree took modeling photos of me at the onset of One Gray
Dress that I could use for promotion purposes through social media, creating
awareness about the Project, and ultimately, human trafficking itself. As these
pictures were taken, I didn’t struggle with thoughts of self-image—in fact, it
was quite the opposite. I wasn’t self conscious, as I knew that these photos
were not taken for myself but for the benefit of others.
As the project went
on, I found myself loving being able to share my experiences with others,
whether it be social media or face-to-face. I’ve always known that I am a
sharer at heart, but it has never so clearly manifested itself until the
purpose of human trafficking was behind it, and suddenly, all insecurities were
gone. It was beautiful.
Friends, I love social justice. I love the “outcasts,”
the ones that society has deemed unworthy or of less value—the abused, the
broken, the mentally ill, the impoverished, the incarcerated, all of these
PEOPLE. Because that is what they are…they are people. And it is beautiful when
common humanity can be found in all, and love is shared.
4. Taking a stand and speaking up for yourself is
scary, but important.
As I faced opposition before this project,
and discouragement, I began to learn the importance of taking a stand. I began
this project impulsively, the only affirmation being from myself. Being this
alone in affirmation was rough and strange, but I knew that it was important in
order for me to grow. As the days went by and I found myself beginning to feel
dumb wearing the same dress, recognizing that not only was I making this about
me, but that I was taking an extreme amount of pride in my looks, I was able to
stand tall in my insecurities and face them for what they are—fear induced
lies. I was still loved when I wore the same dress, I was still loved when I
disagreed with others, acknowledging their opinions and respectfully stating
mine. This was mind-boggling for me, as I’ve always latched onto this fear of
rejection, which has hindered me from exploring avenues of interest (social
justice, radically different lifestyles, cultural exploration), for fear of
being rejected and opposed, instead conforming to what I think I’m “supposed”
to do instead of being true to myself.
One Gray Dress taught me to take a
stand, as each day I was externalizing what I felt on the inside (social
justice), and was able to slowly transform into this mold that I have been
desiring to grow into. Basically, it has been a beautiful transition for
myself, and I have learned so much in this realm of self-discovery especially.
5. This world needs a Savior.
Please know before you read this that these
are my beliefs. Feel free to agree or disagree, but I’d encourage you to read
regardless, as this is the crux of what I have learned.
It has been increasingly apparent to me as
the days have went on during this project—this world is incredibly sick. From
the dehumanizing of women until they become a good that is bought and sold, to
my very own slavery footprint (www.slaveryfootprint.org),
to the injustices in all countries (even the United States), it is so easy to
become discouraged by all that is around. The most horrendous story I heard
about human trafficking was one from Germany, where they were beating women’s
teeth out so that they would be better at oral sex. A 9-month-old baby was
rescued from the brothel—the baby was used for oral sex. I am disgusted by
this. Disgusted. How can one find hope in a world such as this? How can one
find hope in a broken world that falls victim to materialism, violence, hatred,
pride, lies?
Jesus is my only hope—what is keeping me in this sick world. (This
is not a vague statement, as I can sit down and spew my thought logic of how I
came to this realization. Seriously, I would love to do that…it’s a great
story.) He redeems this world and redeems me (this means that He pulls me out
of all of the self-made holes I dig myself into by choosing other choices
rather than Love), and because of this I can face these situations and stories
such as the one above and begin to understand this broken world, and the
Savior’s role in God’s love story.
These last three sentences are loaded,
absolutely loaded, and I have yet to unpack all that I have learned about God
through this project, and all that I have learned about man’s capability for
evil and the evils of the world. I’m assuming that as the months go by, I will
be able to unpack them, and as I do, be able to be taught more lessons like the
ones above.
At the conclusion of this project, I am blown away by all of the support from others. From people coming up
to me and saying, “I love watching your dress project online,” or “I like your
outfit today…and I like what you’re doing,” it has truly been an amazing
experience. My eyes have been opened to further injustices nationwide, and to
how my strengths can potentially play a role in a career oriented in some sort
of social entrepreneurship avenue. I have learned SO MUCH about human
trafficking, and am encouraged by the amount of awareness that was raised, not
only through my participation in One Gray Dress, but by every other woman and
by the Aruna 5K. The past month has shown me what mission really looks like,
and for that I am so extremely grateful.
Tomorrow another day begins, but the women
and men and children involved in human trafficking are still in my heart. I’m
aching not only for them, but for all of us—all of the broken people in this
world, struggling to love and be loved. At the end of the day, all I can do is
worship the Redeemer, my only Hope, and fight FROM victory, not TO victory. And
this makes all the difference.
Much love,
Am
